A patient told me the other day that they saw balance in their lives as a constantly moving target. I love that! I can totally relate. Just when you think you have life figured out, and things are looking even remotely balanced, something comes along and knocks you off that precarious perch and sets you off kilter. Or so you think.
Life balance, at least to me, means that you do a job you love, one that keeps you motivated and focused, and of course able to pay the bills, and a home life that allows you to rest, recharge, relax and most of the time, renovate! There just always seems to be that next home project looming on the horizon, just about at the same time you’ve planned a “day off” in your mind. It’s tough! We all have tremendous responsibilities and things that are requiring our attention. Maybe its your kids, or your family, or your home, or your friends. Finding time for your SELF seems like it’s often at the bottom of the list.
We all know that the “life balance” definition back there isn’t always possible and usually isn’t. Let’s just be honest about it. Sometimes, we have a job we hate, or a home that just doesn’t work for us. I guess what I’m saying is that its important to find a balance in whatever situation you find yourself in. I didn’t say it wasn’t hard.
I think the fact that we know that balance is constantly changing and being redefined as our lives move along can actually give us a bit of peace of mind. If we think that our lives should always be perfect and should always have just the right amount of work and just the right amount of home, that will cause stress, not eliminate it. If we realize that some days are going to be tougher and some will be easier than we thought is kinda comforting. It means we can give ourselves “permission” to totally relax on that Saturday afternoon, when we know there’s stuff to do but we want to relax anyway. That’s ok. But…we have to realize that we’ll have to make up for that relaxation at some point, and that’s also ok. Its like a pendulum swinging back and forth where perfection is in there in between each swing. Kind of nice to look at it like that. We tend to get stuck in a single situation, not always looking around at the big picture. We don’t always think we “deserve” to rest and recharge, but guess what? We do. We ALL do. Every one of us.
How will you know when you’ve achieved this mythical life balance? Trust me. You’ll know. When life seems a little easier. When you’re just a bit happier. When you want to go to work but look forward to going home, you’re likely getting close. Since it is a moving target, we have to be flexible and move WITH the target, not against it. The work comes when you see an area of your life that needs more balance and then figuring out a way to make it happen.
It IS possible to find a balance.
Sharpen up your arrows and tune in your sights. You may not hit the bullseye, but at least you’re shooting at it and that’s most of the battle.
Dr. B
